Mother Divine

Dearest Mother I waited one week before even attempting to put into mere words what you made endure, with indescribable happiness, the day the Lent began. I have no words adequate enough to describe what you revealed to me. The experience of the cross is beyond words. Not because of the pain. That is what you taught me. Not because of the brutal end. That is what you told me, Barbelo. The agony of the cross is utter, hopeless helplessness. I was pinned down and surrounded by a great meaningless noise. I could not move. Not even a finger. The pain in the hands and feet left no mark, nor pain after the event. However I realized the everlasting meaning of the cry "Eli Eli" (Book of Psalms 22:2-3, Mark 15:34, Mat 27:46). Who would fail to understand the "lama sabachthani". But, dear Mother, why did you choose to let me into the secret? I am so unworthy of this honor.

"For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself."(Romans 14:7) Paul follows this up with its natural corollary;"Therefore whether we live or die we are the Lord's".(Rom 14:8). A person is either alive or dead. Hence the corollary. If one lives not to himself, then life suddenly becomes very complex. For the needs of a person living for himself are simple. But living for the Lord ! Here again, Mother, I need you to guide me. I have confessed to you so many times that I have no clue about the Lord. You are part of my being. Call me vain if you will, but I feel your son is not beyond my understanding either. But the Lord ! Immculate Mother, you bore the son of the Totality. You nursed him, brought him up, saw him crucified, heard the cry of utter despair-"Eli Eli..."(Mat 27:46). Were you living for the Lord ? I do not doubt that you were. But, Mother of my dreams, times are different now. In the world of today how would you have li...