Mother Divine

Mother of my Dreams How could I ever have doubted you ! You restored my sister Were you testing me, dear Mother I bow to you Preserve her. She is is your gift to this world of Now. And my luck that she is my guide.

Most Holy Mother I thank you for everything Material or of the spirit You removed my Sister and Guide from me. Is it because you wish me to be alone in my quest. So be it. But she remains forever with me as my friend, guide and mentor.

Holy Mother Dearest of all Creation My mentor I am baffled. What went wrong with Your Son's teachings over the two millennia ? Correct me if I am wrong: He taught about love, didn't He ? (John 13:34-35) Wasn't that the foundation of the New Covenant ? My Dear Mother, why do You test me so much ! You know I am not a Christian in the conventional sense. You know, virgin birth, resurrection and all that. Maybe I am a Neo-Christian. A new kind of people following what the Nazarene taught. He was a great teacher. But, as after the Old Testament, two millennia have passed by. May be we need an expansion of His teachings. After all, that is what He himself said.

Most Holy Mother On 3rd June 2010 you granted me what I had been asking you for so many years But I had never Imagined You would be so graphic. I have asked you so many times what you felt on Golgotha. I only asked you what You felt watching the crucifixion of your own son I never asked to be with you, Mother of God. But you took me and placed me near you, and made me watch the torment on the cross. I heard everything but I don't know the language, so I didn't understand what they said, the soldiers, the 'multitude'. But language is not needed to understand the thorns, the nails, the spurting blood, warm and full of torment. Nor the timeless cry "Eloi", (Why Eloi, Why not the Eli I am familiar with ?) And now I know Mel Gibson got most of it wrong. But I am not free to describe what I saw and heard. Dear Mother, I only asked you what You felt on that fateful day. Only what You felt. Ave Maria

Dear Mother You taught me Love Compassion Detachment You gave my soul whatever little peace it has ever known I thank you For Your kindness and for Your punishments I know you are trying to make a good person No human has succeeded in that But You, my beloved Mother, are not human. Ave Maria Hail Mary

Holy Mother ! After more than a week you summoned me yesterday (19 May 2010). Beloved Mother. I saw you smile, full of mischief, as if asking me to guess the reason for your summons. Of course I had no idea. So I prayed and blew you my kisses. Today morning I came to you again. My candle had died about a quarter way down. The amputated stump remained like the upright stipes of the cross. And this evening came the call of my sister saying she had just had a surgery for a brain tumor and is preparing for radiotherapy. She asked me to pray for her and I said in my mind that I have already prayed for her yesterday although I did not it myself ! Mother Thy Will be done, not mine. I remain forever your son.

Divine Mother I wander away from you And my heart is ready to break I see you But I get no peace Have I offended you ? Have you denied me Your Grace, Your love, Your peace Am I,as you once told me, a hypocrite ? Show me the path to redemption