Friday, November 27, 2009

Living for the Lord

"For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself."(Romans 14:7)

Paul follows this up with its natural corollary;"Therefore whether we live or die we are the Lord's".(Rom 14:8).
A person is either alive or dead. Hence the corollary.

If one lives not to himself, then life suddenly becomes very complex. For the needs of a person living for himself are simple. But living for the Lord !

Here again, Mother, I need you to guide me. I have confessed to you so many times that I have no clue about the Lord. You are part of my being. Call me vain if you will, but I feel your son is not beyond my understanding either. But the Lord !

Immculate Mother, you bore the son of the Totality. You nursed him, brought him up, saw him crucified, heard the cry of utter despair-"Eli Eli..."(Mat 27:46).

Were you living for the Lord ? I do not doubt that you were. But, Mother of my dreams, times are different now. In the world of today how would you have lived ? How would you have me live ?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Mother, I know I am being selfish. But I need to ask you this. Show me a way out of my depression.
I know there are millions like me and millions in more desperate conditions. But right now let me plead for myself.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Meek

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."(Mat 5:5)

Which earth, Holy Mother ? I am sure you guided me to this famous statement with a definite purpose. Which Earth indeed. Surely not this, the third planet of the sun. Many are the meek who were killed just for trying to hang on to whatever little bit of land their family lived on.

It has to be some other earth. May be some other planet of some other sun or maybe even some other galaxy or maybe even some other universe.

I am not being cynical, Mother.

But can it be the Kingdom of Heaven ? The phrases in Mat 5 leave me baffled. I am sure there are profound clues masked by the simplicity of the language.

Or,Mother, have I misunderstood the meaning of the word meek ? What does meek mean ? Who is meek. Was your son meek ?

Blessed, Meek, Inherit, Earth.

Haunting words, apparently transparent and simple, yet so elusive.

Inherit !

Maybe that is the word I should try to understand. What does inherit mean ? How does one inherit ?One inherits from relatives-usually the parents. Is that what it means ? That the meek shall inherit the kingdom of your son's Father ?

Isn't that what the Psalm (82:6) says. "You are Gods and all of you are children of the Most High" . Children inherit. The true children are meek. They inherit, not this tangible earth which must perish with cosmic inevitability, but that which is of the Most High.

Is that why Matthew elaborates on the Kingdom of Heaven ? "Because it has been given to you to know the mysteries of the Kingdom of Heaven, but to them it has not been given." (Mat 13:11). Who is 'you' and who are 'they' ? The apostles and the multitudes?

I don't think it is that simple. Mother guide me through this maze. I need to know the true meaning of the parables on the Kingdom of God. (Mat 13:24-50)

"Thy kingdom come." (Mat 6:10)

Countless billions over the millenia have prayed thus without truly understanding the kingdom all have prayed for. Mother, I do not pretend to understand your Son or His Father. But I am sure you set me off after "the meek" with a definite purpose. And I am sure your silence after you forced me to move my mind has a meaning. Your smile and your silence mean as much to me as the words you speak to me.

Now you want me to try to understand the message "thy kingdom come". For it follows closely the reference to the inheritance of the meek.

"The kingdom of God does not come with observation. For indeed the Kingdom of God is within you." (Luke 17:20-21).

Is this what meek means. Those who realise that they inherit that which is in them and that which is in them only ? And not an afterlife of lazy luxury. Is that why HE warned - "Dust you are. Unto dust shall you return" (Genesis 3:19).
And dust is earth.

Mother. You are my guide, the guardian of the treasures of eternal wisdom. Guide me.

Friday, August 7, 2009


"For if what is passing away was glorious, what remains is much more glorious."(II Cor 3:11).

Mother ! Yesterday you called me a "Hypocrite". Again. And today you give me this cryptic message !

I leave Corinthians and the author of the epistle. Instead I turn to you as my fountain of Wisdom. For who can know more than a woman and a mother.

So I ask you, what is this glory you speak about ? What remains is more glorious than that which IS passing away.

"IS" ? Is the glory still passing away ?

How is that which remains more glorious ? Did not that which was Most Glorious return whence It emanated ?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


And when he had said this he fell asleep (Acts 7:60).
The miracle of language ! Death the friend welcomes Stephen to eternal rest and peace. To sleep for ever.
Death as solace and the final liberation from all bonds of life including the heaviest burden of all - the body which must be fed, clothed and pampered,
Sleep is but partial death from which one must reluctantly wake. Death, on the contrary, is the eternal merging of the isolated soul into its origin.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Love this World

Divine Mother,
You know everything.
You know what I am
What I seek,
What I will never ever get.

So Mother Dear,
What shall I pray of thee.

Nothing for me.
Everything for this world.

Thy kindness makes the world a better place.
In spite of the greenhouse effect
And the ozone hole.
In spite of hurricanes and tsunamis
In spite of wars and the economy

Love this world Mother,
For this word has only You to love it.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Healer of sorrows
You make other sorrows
Trivial with the burden of
Your own unquenchable grief.

Your fortitude emboldens
All mankind.

Blessed Mother of all creation
Be our guide
And mentor

Monday, July 6, 2009

When Prayers fail
When the heart trembles
When the unknown beckons
You are my strength

When I err
When I fear
When I doubt
You are my belief

When I rejoice
When I sin
When I wander
You hold my rein

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I wonder about your mystery
And I find myself wondering even more
No Thought, no Reason can contain you
I bow before you

Children of The Mother

Blessed Mother,
Ever so caring
Forever loving

Before you I am nothing
I ask for nothing
You know everything, mother.

Grant bountifully as you always do
To your children
Great and small.

I do the only thing I can do.
I say,
Thank you for everything.

Even your punishments
Have the sweetness of a mother's

Thank you, mother of mankind.
Glorious And sweet.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The New Dawn

"The night is far spent. The day is at hand." (Romans 13:12).
Mother dear, You told me this.
Why ?
I see nothing but darkness all around.
Not a hint of dawn. Not a hint of light.
Mother of Light, if it pleases you,
Shed upon all
The light of your beatitude,
The light of your glory.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Divine Mother.
I am confused
And gnawed by doubts.

You reside in me.
I belong to you.

Show me the way.
My mind is numb.
Thought leads me nowhere.

Mother of all worlds
You are beyond thought.
Your ways are mysterious,
Like that of your Son's Father.
You baffle me.

But be merciful.
Do not taunt me so.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


Now I understand why you called me a hypocrite (Luke 13:15).

Unworthy as I am I sought to know the unknowable.
Fathom the unfathomable.
Understand that which cannot be understood.

I, who cannot even face the travails of this mere world presumed to face the Ultimate.

And then, day after day, I come wailing to you
Seeking solace.

You are right, Holy Mother.
I am a hypocrite.

Strength - A Prayer

Holy Mother.
Give me strength.
My heart sprints out of control.
And my mind is weak.
I saw you on Golgotha, standing next to the beloved disciple.
You were like a statue hewn of the finest marble.
Not a tear besmirched your face.
No groan distorted your silent grief.
I saw the Myrrh-bearer weep holding bravely on to the foot of the cross.
I saw fear, I smelt shame.
But, glory to thee Madonna, you led by example.
You heard and so do I, the final resignation in that voice of voices- It is over.
You, the mother, who bore in yourself creation itself.
I lack your strength.
I lack your belief.
I lack your instinctive knowledge of eternal truths.
So I beg thee Mother, give me strength.
Strength to bear the cross that is life,
Till I too can leave this worthless shell behind.

The Chosen

"You did not choose me. I chose you". (John 15:16)
Why did you choose me ?
What did I do ?
Why do you punish me so harshly ?
This is a cross I cannot bear.


Holy Mother, you have taught me the meaning of the word "Sinner".
I thank you.
Now punish me, for I do not seek absolution.

A Hymn to my Mother

Blessed Mother
Beautiful and loving
Unarmed but for a mother's unwavering Love.
You look so utterly helpless
Stricken and bereft of hope
Mother of Mankind since the beginning.

Is that why I love you so much.
Holy Mother.
Giver of eternal hope
And everlasting peace.

The Holy Bible, KJV
The Bible, King James Version
The Douay-Rheims Bible

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