Saturday, December 24, 2011

I worship your feet
Pierced and bleeding
May the crimson drops
Cleanse my soul

Be with me always

When I am sad
And when I am glad

When I am angry
And when I am sorry

When I am awake
And when I am in wake

Let my soul be your shrine
And my life your benediction

Dwell in Me
The me I  do not know
The me that belongs to you

My brother
My fellow traveler

If this be travesty
Punish me
Or Let our father

isn't it !!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

When I am scared I think of you,
When I am sad I think of you,
When I am desolate I think of you.

What I want now is to have you with me all the time
When I am happy,
When I am angry,
When I am annoyed

Be with me,
Be my guide,
You who are eternal
Born of the same Mother

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Sons of God

Most Holy Mother
I cannot get that question off my mind.
The question  about the "children of God."

The point raised by my friend  was the meaning of John 1:12-13. "But to as many as received him he gave the power of becoming sons of God: to those who believed in his name: who were born  not of blood, nor of the will of of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God" Like much of John, this statement is rather obscure and complex  in its implications.

Jesus was the only "begotten son" of God. "But who do you say that I am?" Peter answered him, "You are Christ, the Son of the living God". Jesus replied: "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah". (Mat 16:15-17). Disregarding the adoptionist approach for the moment (that Jesus was fully human born of Joseph to Mary and 'adopted' by God at baptism), we need to accept that "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16 ). In I John 4-9 John adds "In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him." John  says again in 3:6 "That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit ", an obvious reference to the divine nature of the birth of Jesus.

Taking John 3:6 and John 1:12-13 together "son of god" becomes an amazingly complex phrase. Jesus is referred to as the Son of God several times in the New Testament. No one else is ever referred to in the New Testament as the son of god. And yet John says the power to confer paternity from God himself on oneself is given to him who accepts "Him", presumably Jesus himself. [Now that is one convoluted sentence !! Complicated use of words--simplify]. But what is the meaning of the term "he gave the power of becoming sons of God". The power was evidently given by Jesus. The power, it would appear was given to "as many as received him". Again I John 3:1 says "Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knows us not, because it knew him not."

One must assume that God has many children, multitude of children as it were. The word "begotten" is the key to John 1:12-13. It is one thing to be a begotten son, and quite another to be a son by option.

Evidently, the reference to will of man and  will of flesh refers to the Virgin Birth. But giving the power of becoming the sons of god !! How much power was the Only Begotten Son conferred with?

This statement in John  follows closely the statement on the rejection of the Word.and the Light by the Chosen People ("He came unto his own, and his own received him not" John 1:11).

John himself says (John 10:34) "Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your Law, 'I have said you are gods'? " as he was about to be stoned. He goes on to say that he only claimed to be the Son of God, not God. However, just before this Jesus says "I and the Father are one" (John 10:30). A contradiction but then logic has no pace in faith.

Two major issues arise with John 1:12-13. Do  believers have the POWER to become sons of God? Are they allowed to exercise that option or does it follow naturally.. And secondly, what about those who do not recieve him, but believe in God nevertheless? Are they damned for all time?

"I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High." (Psalm 82:6).
I have quoted this once and I quote it again.


Sunday, July 24, 2011


A friend of mine about the children of God in John 1:12-13.
I came to you yesterday, you did not give me any answer.
The question was not about the children of the most high. It was rather like this - are the children of god human or god?
As I understood the question, it is rather like asking do the children of God inherit the proprieties of god-rather similar to classes and inheritance. I answered No, with a big N. But I need to know and write I will.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Why are you shown as so sad a the time?  Madonna in sorrow. As the famous followers say.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Holy Mother
This communication comes after a long time.
Not that I have  been remiss in my love for you.
Nor have You been ever away from me

I wanted to think about all that You have taught me
With out Teacher as I am, this is a heavy task You set me Mother.
I draw upon Your never ending love for Your children
In my struggle to understand your meaning.
Much of what You taught me,
No, much of what You allowed me to glimpse
Elude me, with a vagueness that I cannot grasp.
I do not ask You questions any more.
Your answers are more baffling than my questions.

Most importantly however,  this one question continues to haunt me-
Why me?

Saturday, March 19, 2011


Holy of Holy
Creator of the aeons
Mother, Father and Son combined,
You have left me so confused.

Why did you allow me to experience part of the process of the ultimate agony?
And then why did you let me come away physically unharmed, but with the realization that the true agony of the cross is the utter helplessness of the son of man. About the Son of God, I am sure you will teach me soon.. Maybe I will survive that lesson.

Why me? What did I do deserve this agony?  I cannot sleep, I cannot rest, I cannot take my mind away from you. I know, I know, "You did not choose me, I chose you" (John 15:16). Why? What fruit can I possibly bear Dearest Mother. (You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.); I never asked for anything in the name you mention in John 15:16.

And yet I say with Him, Thy Will be done, Not mine (Mark 14:35,36)

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Experience

Dearest Mother
I waited one week before even attempting to put into mere words what you made endure, with indescribable happiness, the day the Lent began. I have no words adequate enough to describe what you revealed to me. The experience of the cross is beyond words. Not because of the pain. That is what you taught me. Not because of the brutal end. That is what you told me, Barbelo.

The agony of the cross is utter, hopeless helplessness. I was pinned down and surrounded by a great meaningless noise. I could not move. Not even a finger. The pain in the hands and feet left no mark, nor pain after the event. However I realized the everlasting meaning of the cry "Eli Eli" (Book of Psalms 22:2-3, Mark 15:34, Mat 27:46). Who would fail to understand the "lama sabachthani".

But, dear Mother, why did you choose to let me into the secret? I am so unworthy of this honor.

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