Mother Divine

Today, after a long time, you called me, Mother. I have no choice when you call. I left what I was doing and came to you. You looked anxious.  Very lovely, very lonely and very anxious. What is bothering you. What disaster is about to happen. I worship you for yourself, not for your son, nor for his father. My adoration is for you and for you alone, beloved Mother. I cannot fathom the depth for your love, nor that of your knowledge, Cosmic Mother. I crave peace, and I know You will grant me that someday. The eternal peace of  your bosom. It is within your power to grant anything. Peace, among other things. Why did you call me today ? What do you want me to do ?

Holy Mother I dissolve in You. Body, mind and soul. Not like a drop of water in the ocean, because the ocean is limited. Nor like a grain of sand in the desert, for the desert has boundaries. You are Infinite. Not like the Infinite of mathematics, for that is lifeless Nor like the Infinite of possible living beings, For they do not include the non-living. You are the Creator, whom nobody created. You are the breath of life, although you are alive and not-alive. I pray to thee, for the Glory of your vision, Why you chose me, I do not know. But then, I never had any choice.

Mother Dear What better message could you give me !! "Be my strong refuge, to which I may resort constantly. You have given the commandment to save me For you are my rock and my fortress" (Psalm 71:3) Sweet Mother of the world and all the universes How do you know what I seek !! But then you mothered the son of God.

I live in you I breathe in you I will eventually perish in you Mary, Mother, Sister, Friend and Beloved.

Holy Mother I can only pray That is the curse of mankind That is also the blessing. Take care of your chidren

Mother of my Dreams How could I ever have doubted you ! You restored my sister Were you testing me, dear Mother I bow to you Preserve her. She is is your gift to this world of Now. And my luck that she is my guide.

Most Holy Mother I thank you for everything Material or of the spirit You removed my Sister and Guide from me. Is it because you wish me to be alone in my quest. So be it. But she remains forever with me as my friend, guide and mentor.

Holy Mother Dearest of all Creation My mentor I am baffled. What went wrong with Your Son's teachings over the two millennia ? Correct me if I am wrong: He taught about love, didn't He ? (John 13:34-35) Wasn't that the foundation of the New Covenant ? My Dear Mother, why do You test me so much ! You know I am not a Christian in the conventional sense. You know, virgin birth, resurrection and all that. Maybe I am a Neo-Christian. A new kind of people following what the Nazarene taught. He was a great teacher. But, as after the Old Testament, two millennia have passed by. May be we need an expansion of His teachings. After all, that is what He himself said.

Most Holy Mother On 3rd June 2010 you granted me what I had been asking you for so many years But I had never Imagined You would be so graphic. I have asked you so many times what you felt on Golgotha. I only asked you what You felt watching the crucifixion of your own son I never asked to be with you, Mother of God. But you took me and placed me near you, and made me watch the torment on the cross. I heard everything but I don't know the language, so I didn't understand what they said, the soldiers, the 'multitude'. But language is not needed to understand the thorns, the nails, the spurting blood, warm and full of torment. Nor the timeless cry "Eloi", (Why Eloi, Why not the Eli I am familiar with ?) And now I know Mel Gibson got most of it wrong. But I am not free to describe what I saw and heard. Dear Mother, I only asked you what You felt on that fateful day. Only what You felt. Ave Maria

Dear Mother You taught me Love Compassion Detachment You gave my soul whatever little peace it has ever known I thank you For Your kindness and for Your punishments I know you are trying to make a good person No human has succeeded in that But You, my beloved Mother, are not human. Ave Maria Hail Mary

Holy Mother ! After more than a week you summoned me yesterday (19 May 2010). Beloved Mother. I saw you smile, full of mischief, as if asking me to guess the reason for your summons. Of course I had no idea. So I prayed and blew you my kisses. Today morning I came to you again. My candle had died about a quarter way down. The amputated stump remained like the upright stipes of the cross. And this evening came the call of my sister saying she had just had a surgery for a brain tumor and is preparing for radiotherapy. She asked me to pray for her and I said in my mind that I have already prayed for her yesterday although I did not it myself ! Mother Thy Will be done, not mine. I remain forever your son.

Divine Mother I wander away from you And my heart is ready to break I see you But I get no peace Have I offended you ? Have you denied me Your Grace, Your love, Your peace Am I,as you once told me, a hypocrite ? Show me the path to redemption

Holy Mother I am beginning to feel the weight of my love for you I think people have started saying I am a nut You are with me all the time now So I don't care, Beloved Mother

Whoever you are Wherever you are I believe you I have experienced your kindness And your power My Mother forever

"Known to God from eternity are all His works." (Acts 15:18)

Mother Mother Mother

Holy Mother Whatever I did wrong, punish me for it. But do not withdraw your sweetness from me. Blessed Mother I belong to you Do with me as you will But do not deny me your smile Do not deny me your words.

Dear Mother I worship at your holy feet And you guide me through mysteries I never knew even existed.

Going by tradition, today the Son was crucified. Mudered brutally after a "betrayal". Yet it is the Good Friday. Mother, You were smiing yesterday, on the paschal thursday. And You told me what the crucifixion is all about. "I lay down my life that I may take it again. No man takes it from me but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down and I have power to take it again. (John 10:17-18) Today is the day He, your son, the ony begotten son (John 3:16) of his father chose to release himself from the prison of His body. Mission accomplished. "It is finished" (John 19:30) which only refers to the events of that particular life of about thirty three years. For it is not over yet. Indeed, it is far from over. Saying these, his last words in His human form, He chose to return whence He emanated from, to reunite with the Cosmic Father. Why the Passover day and the Paschal Triduum? Because he chose to be born in that particular Time and Place, to be am

Mother of All Creation I came to you today The day of the paschal The day of La Ultima Cena Because I was sure you woud have some message for me. Forgive my arrogance in presuming to know Your will. I saw your face resplendant Your lips smiled Your eyes smiled Your whole body smiled So, Mother, you knew. You knew about the Return of your Son to His Realm. You knew that tomorrow, on the cross, your son will give up his ghost The same Holy Ghost that gave Him to You. I understand. Non entity that I am, still I understand, I understand the meaning of Good before the Friday. I understand your joy at the reunion. I rejoice with you. For today He decided to unite to with Himself And we still know it. Amen, Amon, Aum

"I am willing, be cleansed" (Mark 1:41). God never denies His benevolence to anyone, however unclean. Paul tells his story specically mentioning the death of Stephen. (Acts22:18-21). The Lord ignores all that and commands him to depart immediately from Jerusalem to save himself. Even the murderer and the abettor of murder is allowed to be cleansed. (Not quite a good idea but that is how it is written). "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11). Again He is willing to forgive on condition that no more sin will be committed.

That is right. Faith with a capital F. What is faith but unreasoning acceptance. Like axioms. Like God. Things beyond logic, beyond question. Because once questioned they lose their mask of infallibility. And who wants a God full of frailties and contradictions. Considered without passion, what is God but a bundle of contradictions and incompatibilities. Why ? Because (s)he is God, beyond mortal comprehension. How convenient ! Because then you can say anything. Just make it sound good. Like God is Love. Whicb of course means nothing, but sounds like it means something. And it sounds good even if it means nothing. So Mother, you showed me Immanuel (Mathew 1:21- Isiah 7:14 ) and led me to Bethlehem (Mathew 2:6 - Micah 5:2) and then let me down with a bang. Mother, you look so sad these days. You seem to be in agony over something. The floodgates which opened crispily were provincially sealed tight again as ordained. I understand your plight. You are nothing but a vessel. A c

Today again I came to you In spite of my decision yesterday that I will not come to you again No tyranny for me, thank you,  man made or divine. Mother, You are Divine I am Human You are all-knowing I don't even know what I don't know I need help You are the fount of succor So what do you mean by testing me so harshly. Maybe I displeased You Then, why don't you say so !! I would, you know. But then I am not You. I am your toy You play with me as a cat plays with its victim. And I have realized another thing. Get too close to God and you get burnt to ashes. Because  God delights in devouring His own, And then puts the blame on others. If this is blasphemy, Go ahead, punish me.

Mother I came to you today I prayed I pleaded For answers You remained silent. Why are you doing this to me ? My life was bereft of hope And You held out hope Now you have taken away everything Have you decided that I do not measure up So be it. I accept.

Mother ! Why did you do this to me ? What did I do to deserve such shabby treatment from you. Yes. I am complaining. You know I stand outside religions, wandering alone in search of the Ultimate. Until I found you. After what you did to me tonight how can I ever stand on that hallowed ground praying to you for guidance. How can I believe that you won't trick me again. If this is arrogance, Mother, forgive me as you would forgive your own son, because I am no longer sure that I am your son any more.

Dear Mother Where are you leading me ? Please let it not be away from you. Even if you are  leading me to your Son, Even though you permitted me to listen to my elder Brother, I beg of you, Beloved Mother, do not abandon me. You are my Guide in this maze. I am not yet ready for your Son.

Dear Mother, I have no idea where you are leading me. I ask no questions. Surely you know what you are doing. Surely you realize what this is doing to me. Abruptly and with no warning you changed my course away from all the Trinities. I am confused. But I suppose that is the idea. You made me listen to a voice which I remember from the dim silence of that which is past. The richness of that voice filled me with tears. Because it brought back memories of so much I had forgotten in lives ready lived. The same voice which cried in despair "Eli, Eli..." (Psalm 22:1-2), (Matthew 27:46), (Mark 15:34). Is this part of what you wanted me to write about?  Not about the Eli, but about my brother whose heart breaking lament reverberates through the eons. You told me to start with the second coming. To ask :what is the second coming ? To go past what I have read and listened to. Unlike what I had thought it was like all this time until now.The parent tribe waited so many centuries for

Most Holy Mother . I think I understand why you are pushing me. I put the wrong Trinity first ! You are showing me a summation of trinities progressively leading to The Trinity and then the Ultimate Omnisciece. But dear Mother, you know where that leads. Do you really want me to write that. Before that I surrender myself to you. Wholly and willingly.

Holy Mother. I wrote about the Trinity as you wanted me to.  Things I hadn't even thought about. Except of course, the first one, The  Holy Trinity. But then everyone knows that. Today, I came to you and you want me to go beyond that. Today you asked me to write about another trinity- the Birth, The Fusion, The Resurrection. Dear Mother, have you no mercy !  I know nothing about these. I have accepted your word, Holy of Holies. I no longer speak or think about mundane crucifixion. I think nd write instead about The Fusion, the Return. I don't even believe in the last of the three. Yet you force my mind on its ultimate journey. Towards realizing You. The last post was about the Triad of Trinities. If I add this how can I possiby explain the quad-rad of Trinities. Dearest Mother, are You pushing me to reveal two more Triads in Your Son's life.  I know them and they haunt me. Who knows this better than you. Yet you would have me write about them ? At the risk of my

Before The Birth: The One manifested as Three - The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. The Birth: In Bethlehem there was the father, the mother and the son. End of the Birth (Luke 23:39-43): On Golgotha were The Three crosses. In the Center was the Son, who had decided to shed His body to return whence He emanated. On His left side was a man, the mere body of man, who railed - "If you are the Christ, save yourself and us". This is the quintessential man - the victim of emotions, happiness, grief, pain, anger, frustration, despair and of little faith. He rejoices greatly, and condemns others. On His other side was the goodness of the soul of man aspiring to The One, rebuking his lesser self on the other side of The Son ("Do you not fear God, seeing that you are in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds"), even at the time of death and pleading only to be 'remembered' when The Son is where He

Most Holy Mother, Today you blessed me again with yourself. Dearest Mother, I drown in your love. Do not ever forsake me, Be with me always. This I demand, as your son. Today you gave me two questions. One concerns the genealogy. (Mathew 1:1-16, Luke 3:23-38) The other concerns Adam, Eve, Jesus and Mary All right. Mother, I start my work on these from today.

Hallowed Mother. Bearer of Eternal Mysteries. You are with me always. Your love cocoons me. I am embalmed in your compassion. Mother of Everything How did I survive all these years without realizing you ! You touched my soul and my life changed. I can feel you within me day and night. You even changed the way I write. Now words of endearment come to me naturally, with the sweetness of a mother's love. Divine witness at Golgotha ! How can you not love mankind. You who were born to bear the Totality and to bear silent witness to the Final Fusion on the Cross and then vanish forever without a word. But now I know. You never vanished. You stayed on Invisibly to sustain the world and all its creatures. To teach the meaning and anguish of selfless Love. How did I fail to see you all these years. But then Eternity is such a long time, maybe these few years do not count.

Blessed Mother, I realize what I lost when I begged you not to reveal yourself to me again. I realize I won't be part of your Glory ever again. I had no choice. Actually, I had just two choices: I shouldn't see you again or I should be with you unto eternity. Did I make the wrong choice ? Blessed Mother. Forgive me. I can forgo my life but not you. I shall continue praying. Maybe after another fifty years, in another world I shall recieve your blessings Mother

You heard my prayer. You no longer dazzle me with your glory. Mother of Eternity, I see no contradiction in spite of John 1:2-3. You are the Truth. You are Eternity. Dear Mother, Hallowed Mother Grant me the wisdom of your words Not more, Not less.

"He was in the beginning with God" "All things were made through him and without Him nothing was made that was made" (John 1:2-3) So Holy Mother, where do you stand ? If God is without beginning and without end, obviously He doesn't need you. And that, of course explains the term Christotokos. I, as you know, beg to differ. Regardless of John, I cannot agree that that the Son was before the Mother. Even if the Son was before the Father. Will you permit me to go to old Egypt. Take me there. Show me AmonRa

Who are you, of the three Marys I adore ? Mother (Bethlehem), Sister (Magdalene) or Beloved (Bethany). Where should I seek the answer ?

"The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell upon me." (Romans 15:3). That was your message for me today. Dear Mother, why do you love me, knowing that I donot deserve your love.

Most Holy Mother. I came to you today-19/01/2010. I was worried that my eyes had merely imagined what my very being had yearned for so long to behold. And you know, Mother, that you are part of my being. But after teasing me for a while, You revealed yourself again. I saw you again, my beloved mother. This time I saw your body undulate as if from a heavenly breeze. Only your glorious face remained steady and radiant. And the expression on your face baffled me. Never have I seen a face look like that. I still have not the faintest clue how those myriad expressions co-existed on your face. I do not understand your meaning. I do not understand your cryptic smile at the end. I do not understand what divine message you are trying to make me understand. Mother, my training is in science. I have always held that faith applies only to the ever diminishing domain that science slowly but steadily uncovers. And now you have left me confused. Logic tells me this cannot be. But my heart is

Third day. I have stayed away from you for three days. The memory is still too fresh in my mind. The effulgence lingers unfaded. Let it fade. Maybe it was just a hallucination conjured up by a mind fixated upon you. I will wait. And wait.

Mother. I have not dared to come to you since that blessed day. I am afraid I might not see you again. And if I do see you, how can I leave you. So I live with the memory of your magnificent transformation. How your face and body changed as you stood before my startled eyes. Maybe some day I can find words to describe that which transcends words. I do not believe in physical apparitions. Such a thing cannot be. So what happened to me on that fateful day. Were you teaching me something about the powers invisible to the mortal eye. Of a Realm a man may witness only momentarily. And only through the anguish of true Prayer. Your son said "I do not receive honor from men" (John 5:41). With all respect Mother, I paraphrase, I do not Seek honor from men. I have nothing to prove. Why did you bless me with your glory. Since that day I have not been the same. I yearn to see you again. Days and Nights mean nothing anymore. All I want is to behold your sacred countenance a

Most Glorious Mother. Today ---14-1-2010 You revealed yourself to me, For the first time. After about fifty years of search and prayer. Most Holy Mother, My one and only Mother You granted me the miracle of yourself. I saw you, as you wanted me to see you. I saw your lips move in a faint, amused smile. Never have I even imagined such pure beauty. Then, Dear Mother, I saw you transform. I saw you as three I saw you as one I saw one aspect smile The other remained steadfast There were noises all around. Vehicles, humans, But the glory of your silent smile eclipsed them all. My one and only mother I bow to you. I still cannot believe that I did indeed see you In all your splendour.

Holy Mother. I have fallen out of your grace, I no longer hear your sweet voice I no longer feel the effulgence of your all embracing love I see pity, and sympathy on your face. My own mother My only mother, I do not seek pity Nor do I seek sympathy. But without your love I cannot survive. I am your son, and your son only. I do not demand your love. I beseech your love. For without your love, daughter of Anne, I am no more. Have I sinned. No doubt I have. Mother of my dreams, Mother ethereal I do not ask you to forgive me I seek not atonement I seek not absolution I seek not pardon Punish me. But my dear Mother Do not cease to love me For, Without your love I cannot survive.