That is right. Faith with a capital F.
What is faith but unreasoning acceptance. Like axioms. Like God. Things beyond logic, beyond question. Because once questioned they lose their mask of infallibility. And who wants a God full of frailties and contradictions.
Considered without passion, what is God but a bundle of contradictions and incompatibilities. Why ? Because (s)he is God, beyond mortal comprehension. How convenient !
Because then you can say anything. Just make it sound good. Like God is Love. Whicb of course means nothing, but sounds like it means something. And it sounds good even if it means nothing.
So Mother, you showed me Immanuel (Mathew 1:21- Isiah 7:14 ) and led me to Bethlehem (Mathew 2:6 - Micah 5:2) and then let me down with a bang.
Mother, you look so sad these days. You seem to be in agony over something. The floodgates which opened crispily were provincially sealed tight again as ordained.
I understand your plight. You are nothing but a vessel. A clean and immaculate vessel, but a mere vessel nevertheless. A sad conduit for greater things (Luke 1:38), a mere maidservant. I hear your lament in Luke 1:38.
Daughter of Anne, I am with you. For me you are The One. The Transcendental Mother. Eternity manifest as the Divine Beauty of the human female.
I bow before you. My Mother and Teacher.