Holy of Holy
Creator of the aeons
Mother, Father and Son combined,
You have left me so confused.
Why did you allow me to experience part of the process of the ultimate agony?
And then why did you let me come away physically unharmed, but with the realization that the true agony of the cross is the utter helplessness of the son of man. About the Son of God, I am sure you will teach me soon.. Maybe I will survive that lesson.
Why me? What did I do deserve this agony? I cannot sleep, I cannot rest, I cannot take my mind away from you. I know, I know, "You did not choose me, I chose you" (John 15:16). Why? What fruit can I possibly bear Dearest Mother. (You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.); I never asked for anything in the name you mention in John 15:16.
And yet I say with Him, Thy Will be done, Not mine (Mark 14:35,36)