Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Resurrection.

Today you rose from the tomb.

How you rose must forever remain a mystery unless you choose to tell me Rabbi,  "for as yet they did not yet understand the Scripture, that he must rise from the dead" John 20:9. Neither do I. However from my background, life after death, resurrection and journeys to heaven and hell are not strange. But I still am baffled by Resurrection.

However that might be, you chose to re appear in the same body which had been scourged and crucified. That must have a terrible sight and yet Mary Magdalene had no hesitation. She believed. As did John. They did not need proof. Not so the others. Thomas was not alone in this disbelief.

I do not ask what you did from the time you gave up life till the time you came back again. But I do ask of you, Brother and Teacher, why did you resurrect yourself? What is the point? Your teachings stand by themselves, they do not need this. And yet I rejoice along with all those who do believe.

This is the day our mother is most happy. Because you are now flesh and blood and Spirit at the same time.

The resurrection is something I will have to wait to understand, for I was directed to You by our Mother. You are supposed to tell me. I am sure you will, although I don't know when.

Till then Ishwa, My Teacher and Brother, Glory to Thee. And I wait for you to speak again.

Psalm 16:10 - (David)
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.


Friday, April 6, 2012

It is Finished.

"It is finished". John 19:30.

Indeed it is, Ishwa. Now the vigil begins. Brother.I went to many churches today evening. They were all closed. My dear rabbi, shouldn't they be open today and tomorrow? Not for me to question why, but I just do not understand. On that last day your disciples ran away. I use that word deliberately. That is what our Mother told me. John tarried and so did the brave ladies, our Mother, Magdalene, and maybe Mary of Bethany. They loved you beyond mere life, they were women. The woman who gave birth to you, the woman for whom you were  a brother and your companion.

But the valiant rock was nowhere to be seen. They were hidden, weren't they Rabbi. Scared of the Romans and the Sanhedrin and Caiaphas. And today, brother dear, the churches are closed.

I do not understand many things. Maybe there are secrets here that are beyond me. But today and tomorrow I will pray. I have no idea were you were after the stone was rolled in front of the mouth of the cave and till you appeared to Magdalene.

But I do know one thing. I am with you. I know, "Where I go, you cannot come". Fine. But if need be, I will perish trying.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Scourging

Today, at this moment you are probably back from Herod's place and in the violent arms of the soldiers.
The human body is frail and weak. 
But you had to assume the human form because for some reason God loves humans more than pigeons.
And has counted every hair on each head.

And Ishwa, today you told me why the scourging and the extreme violence done to your body was necessary.
The human body and the mind trapped inside it is capable of anger and grief  and could weep as well as love. These are emotions. And he who would sit with God cannot be victim to emotions. Because if God has emotions then God is not perfect and God is perfect because otherwise God is not God at all. And you are the son of god. Yet the human frame compelled you to errors of judgement, may be, or errors of thought, maybe. You only hinted at that, my beloved brother and teacher. I realize fully that what I said just now is heresy ! And the body had to be punished, taught that it cannot go unaccountable.

My good and kind teacher, if you had so chosen then you could have chosen so very differently. And yet you chose this way and this truth and this life.

Tomorrow I must witness your choice of the end. maybe after that you will tell me what resurrection is all about.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


Today you went to Gethsemane. And leaving Peter and others behind you followed your own advice- you prayed alone. Today the final stones were rolled, the avalanche has started. It was beyond control now. Maybe you could have gotten away, but that was not part of the plan. Then you need not have annoyed so many powers so many times in so many ways. You wanted to end it this way. A little drama always helps. But this was not drama. This was real. The mortal body was to be shed. And it was to be shed fearfully, and in great agony. The darkness of the garden hid the human in you, the human pleaded to have the cup taken away, but only if the giver of the cup was so inclined. Didn't you mean the cup of life? That the cup of life be removed finally, so that you may rejoin the glorious father. After all, nobody before you had dared to call God "Father". That was your prerogative.  This was your choice, you exercised your choice. Judas was but a pawn, so were  Caiaphas, Herod, Pilate. So were the soldiers. This was a choice you made.
You were alone in the midst of the multitude. For there are are no companions on the cross.
Brother, I behold thee. Full of sorrow, deserted by all but a few. But Resolute.
But until you tell em I cannot know more.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Hallowed Mother

You heard my prayer.
You no longer dazzle me with your glory.
Mother of Eternity, I see no contradiction in spite of John 1:2-3.
You are the Truth.
You are Eternity.
Dear and  Hallowed Mother
Grant me the wisdom of your words
Not more, Not less.

Mother of Everything

You are with me always.
Your love cocoons me.
I am embalmed in your compassion.

Mother of Everything
How did I survive all these years without realizing you !

You touched my soul and my life changed. I can feel you within me day and night. You even changed the way I write. Now words of endearment come to me naturally, with the sweetness of a mother's love.

Divine witness at Golgotha ! How can you not love mankind. You who were born to bear the Totality and to bear witness to the Final Fusion on the Cross and then vanish forever, without a word.

But now I know. You never vanished. You stayed on Invisibly to sustain the world and all its creatures.

How did I fail to see you all these years. But then Eternity is such a long time, maybe these few years do not count.

Most Holy Mother

"The Spirit of truth whom the world cannot receive , because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. " (John 14:17)

The triad of days

Dear Brother. I address you as brother, being born of the same father and the same mother. And also as my brother in spirit.

There is nobody here now, but you and me and of that You are the Reality and I the Illusion. Speak freely with me. This is my request. And my prayer.

Let me try to understand what you told me today. Because I did indeed hear you with my soul. The same voice that has spoken to me earlier, at least on two occasions. I know your voice so well, reverberating across eons and millennia.

So on Sunday (of the palm) you entered Jerusalem. After three days, on Thursday, (or was it Wednesday) came the last supper. Three days later, on Sunday occurred the resurrection. I maybe wrong with the days but I am sure I am right about their meaning.

You went to the city deliberately planning to annoy the powers in charge. You have said so yourself. You knew how the events would unfold, you told your disciples, you even told them the instrument that would bring about the event. And in Gethsemane you asked the Father that if  it pleased him,  remove the the cup (Luke 22:42). Surely you knew and were fully aware of what would unfold shortly.

So I base myself on yourself. On your own words as you told me. The days were chosen to fall three days apart. A trinity of days, another remarkable trinity of all the trinities that surround you. You must have chosen the days yourself, for who else can choose them for you. And you chose to discard the human frame and now comes the question that still leaves me baffled. Why did you choose to resurrect? You assumed the same blood stained body. The same wounds. Why? You must have known that many Thomases would not believe mere verbal testimony. Not many are capable of such love as Mary Magdalene, who did not for a moment doubt. Her attempted embrace was one of adoration and You told her that is not necessary. But Thomas, you asked to feel the bleeding wounds for himself. I do not know if he actually did feel them. So the followers were of three kinds- those whose mind accepted you with no question what so ever (Mary Magdalene), those who believed ardently once it was proved to them (Thomas and later Saul), and thirdly those who were neither Marys nor Thomases.

My Brother and Lord, You have more secrets for me, I asked you some today. Answer me if I am worthy.

After all, I was sent by our Mother.

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